Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? The alarm doesn’t go off, you’re late for an important meeting, you receive unexpected bad news, and by the end of the day, you feel completely drained, both physically and emotionally. I remember a day like that not too long ago. I felt like I was running on a treadmill that kept getting faster, and the “stop” button was nowhere to be found. In that moment, all I could think was, “How am I supposed to deal with all of this?” Or, as we say in Portuguese, “Como vamos lidarmos com tudo isso?”
This feeling is universal. The verb “lidar” – to handle, to cope, to deal with – is one of the most important in our lives. And when we use it in the form “lidarmos,” it takes on a special meaning. It’s not just about me dealing with my problems, or you dealing with yours. It implies a “we.” It suggests that this journey of navigating life’s storms, big and small, is something we share. It is a collective challenge and, thankfully, can be a collective effort.
In this article, I want to walk with you through what it truly means to “lidarmos” with our difficulties. This isn’t about magic formulas or toxic positivity that tells you to just “think positive.” It’s a sincere, practical, and human conversation about emotional tools, understanding our own minds, and remembering that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. We will explore simple strategies you can use today, and also talk about building a foundation for a more resilient tomorrow.
Understanding What We Are Really Dealing With
Before we can talk about how to handle something, we need to understand what it is. Often, we feel a general sense of overwhelm, a mix of stress, anxiety, sadness, and frustration. The first step in “lidarmos” effectively is to put a name to what we feel. Is it anxiety about an uncertain future? Is it stress from an overwhelming workload? Is it sadness from a personal loss?
I used to lump everything together as “a bad day.” But I learned that by identifying the specific emotion, I could choose a more specific tool to manage it. Anxiety about a future presentation calls for preparation and calming techniques. Stress from too many tasks calls for prioritization and delegation. Grief calls for time, compassion, and space to feel. Giving a name to our struggle is the first act of taking back control. It moves the problem from a vague, scary cloud over our heads to something we can observe and, ultimately, work with.
First Aid for the Mind: Tools for the Moment of Crisis
When the wave of panic hits, or when anger flares up, we need something to hold onto right away. These are not long-term solutions, but they are vital anchors. Think of them as emotional first aid.
One of the most powerful and immediate tools is our breath. It sounds too simple, but it works. When we are stressed, our breathing becomes shallow and fast. By consciously slowing it down, we send a direct signal to our brain that says, “You can relax. We are safe.” Try this: inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale even more slowly for a count of six. Do this just five times. It doesn’t solve the problem that caused the stress, but it brings you back to a state where you can start to solve it.
Another technique is called “grounding.” When our thoughts are racing about the past or the future, grounding brings us back to the present moment. Look around you and name five things you can see, four things you can feel (like the texture of your shirt or the chair under you), three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This sensory exercise interrupts the cycle of anxious thoughts and roots you firmly in the “here and now.”
I keep a note on my phone with a list of things that calm me: a specific song, a picture of my dog, a quote from a favorite book. In a moment of overwhelm, I open that note. It’s my personal emergency kit. What would be in yours?
Building the Fortress: Daily Habits for Long-Term Strength
While first aid is crucial, we don’t want to live from one crisis to the next. The real art of “lidarmos” lies in building daily habits that strengthen our emotional immune system. This is the difference between being a fragile boat in every storm and becoming a sturdy ship that can navigate rough seas.
The foundation of this fortress is often our basic self-care, which we so easily neglect. Consistent sleep, nutritious food, and some form of movement are not luxuries; they are the fundamental fuel for our mental state. When I am sleep-deprived, my ability to handle even minor frustrations plummets. A 20-minute walk outside, however, can completely reset my perspective.
Then, we have the practice of setting boundaries. This was a hard lesson for me. “Lidarmos” does not mean saying “yes” to everything and everyone until we collapse. It means knowing our limits and communicating them with kindness. A boundary can be as simple as, “I can’t take on that extra project right now,” or “I need an hour to myself this evening to recharge.” It is not a wall to keep people out; it is a gate that you control, deciding what you have the energy to let in.
Finally, consider a daily mindfulness or gratitude practice. This isn’t about empty positivity. It’s about training your brain to notice the good, the neutral, and the challenging without immediately being swept away by it. Spending two minutes in the morning just noticing your breath, or writing down three small things you are grateful for before bed, can slowly but profoundly change your baseline level of contentment. It builds a buffer against the negative.
The Power of “Nós”: We Don’t Have to Handle It All Alone
Here is the most important part of “lidarmos”: the “we.” Our culture often glorifies the individual who overcomes everything alone, the solitary hero. But this is a myth that causes immense suffering. Human beings are social creatures. Our brains are wired for connection. Trying to handle everything in isolation is like trying to fight a battle with one arm tied behind your back.
Reaching out is a strategic move, not a surrender. Talking to a trusted friend about what you’re going through does two things. First, it gets the thoughts out of your head, where they often grow and distort. Speaking them aloud can make them feel more manageable. Second, it allows for connection and validation. A simple “That sounds really hard, I’m here for you” from a friend can be more healing than we realize.
And sometimes, “lidarmos” means seeking professional help. Seeing a therapist is like having a personal trainer for your mind. Just as you would go to a doctor for a persistent physical pain, a psychologist or counselor is there for persistent emotional or mental pain. They provide unbiased guidance, teach proven techniques, and offer a safe space to untangle complex feelings. Deciding to seek therapy was one of the bravest and most effective choices I ever made in my journey to learn how to handle life’s challenges.
Conclusion: A Continuous Journey, Not a Final Destination
To “lidarmos” with life’s difficulties is not a one-time achievement. It is a continuous practice, a set of skills we learn and relearn throughout our lives. Some days we will feel strong and resilient. Other days, we will feel like we are back at square one. And that is perfectly normal. This journey is not linear.
The goal is not to eliminate all stress or difficulty from our lives—that’s impossible. The goal is to change our relationship with these challenges. To build a toolkit and a support network so that when the waves come, as they always will, we know we have the resources and the people to help us navigate through them. We learn to be kinder to ourselves in the process, understanding that struggling does not mean we are failing. It simply means we are human, learning how to handle this complex, beautiful, and sometimes overwhelming experience of life. And the best part? We can learn to do it together.
FAQ (Perguntas Frequentes)
1. O que significa exatamente a palavra “lidarmos”?
“Lidarmos” é a forma no infinitivo do verbo “lidar” para a primeira pessoa do plural (nós). Significa “para nós lidarmos com”, “para nós enfrentarmos” ou “para nós administrarmos” uma situação, desafio ou emoção.
2. Qual a diferença entre “lidar” e simplesmente “ignorar” um problema?
Ignorar um problema é um mecanismo de evasão. O problema geralmente continua lá, crescendo ou causando tensão interna. “Lidar” significa reconhecer ativamente o problema, enfrentá-lo com as ferramentas adequadas (seja resolvendo, aceitando ou buscando ajuda) para reduzir seu impacto na sua vida.
3. Quando sei que preciso de ajuda profissional para lidar com algo?
Alguns sinais incluem: sentimentos de tristeza, ansiedade ou raiva que são muito intensos, duradouros (semanas a fio) e interferem no seu trabalho, relacionamentos ou capacidade de realizar tarefas diárias; uso de substâncias para enfrentar as emoções; pensamentos de desesperança ou de prejudicar a si mesmo. Buscar ajuda é um ato de coragem e autocuidado.
4. Como posso ajudar alguém que está com dificuldade em lidar com algo?
Ofereça escuta sem julgamento. Frases como “Estou aqui para o que precisar” ou “Isso deve ser muito difícil” são valiosas. Evite dar conselhos não solicitados ou minimizar os sentimentos da pessoa (“Não é nada”). Você pode incentivar gentilmente a busca por ajuda profissional, mas o apoio presencial e a paciência são os principais presentes que você pode dar.
5. É possível aprender a ser mais resiliente?
Absolutamente sim. A resiliência não é um traço de personalidade com o qual você nasce ou não. É como um músculo que pode ser fortalecido com a prática. Desenvolver uma mentalidade de crescimento, cultivar bons relacionamentos, aprender técnicas de regulação emocional e cuidar da sua saúde física são todas formas comprovadas de construir resiliência ao longo do tempo.
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